Yesterday, was a rough day. Carter seemed to fuss and fuss. I felt like I was going to go insane. The house was left untouched, we ran back and forth from school, and walked in circles around the house.
I was not about to prepare anything for dinner. I just didn’t have it in me. I decided it might be the perfect night to eat out. We ventured out to a local restaurant. A few moments before our food arrived, as expected, Carter began to fuss. For me, this means the duration of the dinner is spent with me standing up, bouncing Carter as he fights sleep.
Then, God sent me some sweet sweet grace. As our waitress brought us our food, she offered to hold Carter while I ate. Now, we knew our waitress, so I wasn’t throwing him into the arms of a stranger. With a little hesitation, I handed him off. She continued to hold him until he got fussy, which was when I was about done eating. By then, he had almost conked out. I rocked back and forth for a moment, and his sleepy eyes closed. I ate the rest of my meal holding him, but he was asleep.
To me, this was such a huge blessing from God. I felt so on edge yesterday. I don’t know if I could have taken this interruption during my anticipated meal of pancakes, eggs, and hash browns. I am seeing more and more that the blessings are there. I’m usually just not looking.
It makes me sick to know that little blessings come and go, unnoticed by myself. I remember those times when I have wanted to surprise someone with a gift or kind act. In my head, I conjure up their response. If their response is not as enthusiastic or grateful as it was in my version of the story, I feel a little disappointed. Wondering if this is how God feels when his kindness goes unnoticed.
Trying to make my eyes larger and my heart more thankful for the grace that God gives me every day.
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